Question by Maravilla: Dealing with NOT being pregnant?
There has been a few occasions that I thougth that I may have been pregnant, but I’ve never tried to be. My boyfriend “left” me in October because he just couldn’t support “us” financially at this time & we live 12 hours away from each other. After October I thought there was chance that I was pregnant, but every test has showed up negative. I’m so upset because of this. I really wouldn’t mind being pregnant and having a baby, but I don’t know if this is because I’m just ready to be with my beau again or I just want a child.
Opinions?
Rowan’s Mom– I’m 19 & he is 21… he has a great job, but the pay was cut if he transferred to where I am. He doesn’t want me to have to work, so thats why he can’t support us financially.
To everyone– I’m not dumb…raising a child is expensive. My beau isn’t over me- he’s just working on finances & trying to move to me.
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Best answer:
Answer by monkie_jo
i strongly believe marriage before baby.
it is hard to cope with the need to be a mom.
i have 2 boys and want a 3rd but hubby dont.
focus on being right with yourself and the rest will fall into place.
What do you think? Answer below!
I think that you want to be pregnant hoping that you and your man will be together in the end. A baby will not make you close if the relationship has already ended and he’s moved on. If you still have feeling for him you need to express it to him.
How old are you and if your boyfriend left you because he couldnt support you financially how do you think you can support a baby. A baby is very expensive. Never have a baby to bring you and your boyfriend closer. A baby should be brought into the world with love. Your boyfriend doesnt seem responsible enough to have a child and dont go out looking for someone to get you pregnant either.
You may just need someone to love you unconditionally for being you and it seems to you that baby may be the thing you are looking for. As old Beatles’ song said: “all you need is love…” but you seem to have void there. Try not to rush with baby – it is a big commitment, not seasonal pet. Try to volunteer your free time in youth and child centers or some other organizations that support good cause and you will see how people look at you, wait for you and you alone to come and lighten their day. This may give you some of the love you need and will give you new look on life. Maybe then you will know if being a mother is for you or you just needed someone to love you for you. Good luck in searching for truth.
subconciously i think it could be two things….one you might feel that if you are pregnant, eventually he will have to come around and he will be connected to you forever through this child (not actually a good thing- better to solidify the relationship first) and two it might be also that because of your recent break up, that you might feel like a baby will fill that void of love. while this is true- who is going to fill that baby’s void when he/she grows up without a father?
baby fever is contagious- and it is a wonderful blessing to have a child- but waiting until you are in commited realtionship idealy marriage is the best way to go about it. you need that extra strenght and support to deal with the stresses, the physical weakness and the financial- it is waaayyy to hard to do it on your own. i wouldn’t conciously make the CHOICE to raise a baby on your own. you will be selling both you and the baby short. hang in- love will come, and then you truly will be ecstatic when you do find out you will be having a baby
when i was young i wanted a baby so bad that my body started to respond as if i really was , only to find out that i wasn’t , the whole thing was i thought the guy wanted a baby but, he just wanted the fun w/o having to care for anyone but, himself, and the thought of giving up his fun money to care for a child was out of the question.
there is a time and season for everything .
two years later i did get pregnant and then when he was 6 months old , guess what, yeah , i was pregnant again, the father was so up in arms that he caused us to part, here we go again, the day after she was born , he took us back into his house then a few months later we were married , after 9 months , he was getting letters from not one, but , three women , looking to start again w/ someone else and he had his pick, life is short, listen, when it’s time to have children , you will, for now please, please, don’t do something that you will regret later and have more than just you to provide for and be high and dry for a provider.
best to get married to someone whom you know will stay and give you the support that you deserve , then bring children into a stable love relationship instead of one you have to wonder about if he will still be there for the first birthday party.
maybe u need to see a gynacologist. there may be a reason u havent gotten pregnant. good luck
Most women go through this…
I know its hard, especially when everywhere you look there are babies..
But all i know, is everything happens 4 a reason..
And dont rush into anything, you are so young and have so much time left..