Question by Kally: Im losing my bestfriend..For her boyfriend .. PLEASE HELP!?
iv known her for almost 6 years now we were the best friends school every known we used to talk on the phone for 7 hrs daily and go online together every single day i even ignored my whole family and friends for her i even had a fight with my parents on this relationship with her cuz my parents thinks its not normal..i completely ignored everyone i even go out ALOT with her behind my parents back..and i get beated up and punished when i do these things behind my families back cuz i know they will never let me do it..everything was ok till she met a guy online from the face book and she added him on MSN and that was like 3 months or 2 months ago and now she ignores me and even LIE to me for him she talks to him 24/7 and sometimes she even keep the mic ON while shes sleeping shes TOTALLY obssesd and when he goes off she comes to me and say “that she feels bad when she make me feel left ” but that fades away the second he gets online.. she just keeps doing it over and over .. i talked to her about it but it always ends with a fight or drama and all she says to me is ” i do w/e i want u dont control me” it really hurts me cuz all i do is asking her for a LIL time to be with her…i tried to hang out with other friends she keeps msging me and when i come back home she says ” oh u found new friends now yea ull ditch me for them” and i say “SO ? u ditch me everyday for ur bf” and fights starts…I Dont WANNA LOSE HER shes the only one i got..i love her soo much i can never imagine my life without her..PLEASE help me..
Best answer:
Answer by Roger
She loves him, not you; you have to accept it.
Sorry, mate. I’ve been there.
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Its obviose you spend WAYY to much time on the internet, Get out more, Do something to make her jealous.
Okay first you need to take several deep breaths. I have been on the verge of losing friends and have actually lost friends because they’ve gotten obsessed with their boyfriends…so I completely understand what you are going through right now. All I can say is, (although it seems that you’ve tried to talked to her many times) tell her that you really don’t want to lose her and that she’s the only friend you’ve got (like you said in your question) and maybe cry a little bit I know that always helps get the point across to people how upset you are about this. If she does start hanging out with you again then that’s great! But if she refuses to, then you need to move on. As hurtful as it may be, you will eventually find another best friend who really deserves you as their friend. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you both can remain friends!
i think u are a litle too obsess with her.u need to understand she has a boyfriend now maybe you should do the same.
Well just leave her she is being me about Everything. YOU MATTER TOO! I say leave her because she in reality is ditching You! You can hang with anyone you want! Just Forget her and find people who won’t ditch you!
Everyone change. Life change. You need to make a life for yourself and well done for hanging out with other people. Best thing to do is whenever she makes a smart comment about you ditching her friend, just be cool and say nothing – that way you avoid arguments. The reason why your family gave you a hard time is becos they wanted the best for you and find it too much if you stick to her like a glue. It’s not good for you. I think they wanted you to grow up with your self esteem and self confidence intact. For me, someone who is like you, would be clingy and need my space. Give her the space she need. Depending on your friend’s age (under 21), it’s not a good idea to meet a man via facebook becos it’s often dangerous. Tell her it’s ok to talk to him online but never meet him becos in London (UK), a girl of age 19 passed away becos she met her online boyfriend/friend she’s met through facebook. If you do not still get on with her, let it go and live your life. You can have a life without her. When she and her bf break up and is ready to speak to you, you’ll already have your own life sorted and find that you don’t really need her. Don’t let her use you either.
Truth is the whole situation seems a little immature. I don’t know how old you guys are, but from the grammar mistakes and the story line you’re still in high school- probably freshman or sophomore. You both have a lot of growing up to do (< I don’t mean that in a rude way, but it’s true. You’re still really young). She’s found puppy love and you feel like you’ve been traded in for something new. Common problem.
First off you need to accept this…if she’s truely in love she’ll always pick him over you. Truth hurts. It’s life. But if she’s not in love she’ll figure it out sooner or later. Wether you choose to be there for her after all this is up to you.
Secondly, friends will come and go. You probably won’t accept this, but she could easily be one of those friends who go. I’ve had friends in the past I never thought I would ever part ways with, but I did. Again, it’s life.
Thirdly, don’t make her choose between the two of you. She’ll choose him.
It seems like to me you did have an unusual relationship with her. Not lesbian-like, but the fact that you surrounded yourself with one friend and she’s pretty much your life is unhealthy. You need to go out and get other friends. It’s the only way you’ll feel better about this situation. Tell her how you feel. She’s immature and she will most likely tell you she’s sorry and she’ll try to make more time for the two of you- she won’t follow through on this. You’re just gonna have to suck it up and move on with or without her. I’m sorry it seems harsh, but it’s the truth. I’ve dealt with this petty stuff before and this is the only way to go about it.