Question by nothing: Funny funny funny... you think?
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rearview mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday.
If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go"

The old gentleman paused, then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper.

Best answer:

Answer by milo
lol

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Question by warweaver: Finally put the pieces together?
Long story short. 4 years ago my wife started cheating on me with a friend of mine. 3 years ago I finally get sick of her insanity and move out. She drove me out really with her irrational behavior. She had lied to me and I never knew that she had cheated, in fact, i never even suspected it. She blamed the fact that she didn't want to try to make it work because, "i left" and she could never trust me again.

So I had been carrying around this guilt that it was all my fault if only I hadn't left etc... Well, 10 days ago my friend tells me that he had been with my ex wife for a year during and 2 years after my wedding ended. Karma got him though because she did the exact same thing to him.

In his case, it was obvious she was cheating whereas in mine it was not. However, he still had doubts, he couldn't be sure. So I confronted her and she apologized for what she had done to me. So I ask her about the other fella' and she denied having cheated on him. But she's lying. Im confused now.
Well. There's another part see. She blamed me for everything, said I was a horrible person and I believed her for three years. 10 days ago I discovered the truth and confronted her, then I confronted him. He felt terrible about it but was very forthcoming. Basically though, when I found out the truth I honestly felt like I had restarted the healing process. She's also lying to the guy so he's making a puzzle thats missing the most important piece. I feel like everyone should have the information they need to heal, so, I jacked her phone records using her cell # which she gave me and a password that he somehow knew and had mentioned. I broke down 2 years' worth of her calls which reveal obviously and clearly that she's a cheating liar. Im strugging at the moment because I still feel very deeply for her and we had worked things out at least friendship wise. But I had to admit cracking her account b/c lying is no way to start - so her irrational hatred started all over again.

Best answer:

Answer by mother of 2
I am not sure what your question is? She sheated on you and more than likely cheated on oyur buddy. I am not sure if you wanna stay buddies with that guy anyways because he was with your ex but never said anything until now about it. I would just drop this guy as a friends and drop your ex. STOP talking to them both. You will never more on if you continue to talk to her. Change your phone number and email if you have to! YOu seem to need drama, you need to stop with the drama. She's a slut! Get over it and move on. Unless you want to hear over and over how she hurt you and who she screwed, then you have more serious issues to address with a therapist

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Question by Janelle S: Here is another joke for ya?
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"

The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.

"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad."

"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied.

"So what happened then?" the man asked.

The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

The man laughed and said, "Again?"

The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So, what did you do then?" the man asked.

"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

"Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head.

"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said.

"So, what did you do?" the man asked.

"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...
Some things you just can't explain."

Best answer:

Answer by Darth Mike 420
two points!

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Question by tashfain: SHANE WARNE...scandalize... will he never learn?
In May, barely a year after yet another phone sex scandal (will he never learn?) Warne was pictured in the British tabloid The News of the World with two 25-year-old models during Hampshire's Championship match against Middlesex. "Shane blew our minds," claimed one of the young ladies, MTV presenter Coralie Eichholtz (left). "He was so fit. I'd give him top marks for more than satisfying us." Warne's wife, Simone, had by this point filed for divorce, and was unavailable for comment

Best answer:

Answer by TumTum
Are you talking about this?

http://www.smh.com.au/news/stay-in-touch/tabloid-has-another-field-day-with-warnie/2006/05/07/1146940411367.html

He has probably learned by now.

Give your answer to this question below!

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," she remorsefully replied. --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive." --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener." --won't admit his name

Best answer:

Answer by {{ciao bella}}
lol those are hilarious!
took me a couple trys to get some of them though {im a slow person }

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After Eddie Cibiran's wife left him because of his affair with LeAnn Rimes, the country star splits with her husband Dean Sheremet, and tells fans at a Utah concert she's heartbroken.
Video Rating: 4 / 5

www.80millionmoviesfree.com Víctor García movie direction Mirrors 2 (2010) tragic accident happens to a man when his wife left to dead. Nick Stahl, William Katt, Stephanie Honore released on 2010.
Video Rating: 5 / 5

The London Boys were a dance pop duo Edem Ephraim and Dennis Fuller both of whom were killed in an Alpine car accident on January 21, 1996. They traveled in Austrian Alps on a dangerous mountain road, and another car was trying to pass at the opposite side of the road. The accident was a head-on collision with a drunken Swiss. Edem and his German wife left behind a son Stevie who was 3 years old at the time of the tragedy. Dennis had a daughter, Laura, who was 10
Video Rating: 5 / 5

Name Song: Cool And Smooth Composer: Musicshake movie mistake poster mistake movies: Are we done yet Blonde andblonder I think i love my wife Left 4 dead Penelope Pirates of the caribbean Sin city The spirit Terminator 3 rise of the machines Sarah connor chronicles Yes man How to lose friends and alienate people
Video Rating: 4 / 5

I edited this when my wife left out of town for work for a very long time

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman.

Best answer:

Answer by Sexy_Duck
Funny.
Ur welcome.

What do you think? Answer below!

1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

3. "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"

6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

8. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

9 . "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

13. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

14. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "'Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?' I said, 'I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further.' He promptly responded, 'I am as long as you'll pay me more.' I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

15. "His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."

16. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

17. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security."

18. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

Best answer:

Answer by John B
If its for fast food and he offers you a drink during the interview, dont ask for a refill when its over. and also a fart can ruin any job interview

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