Yesterday I could not stop crying after he left. I have been through really tough situations before but for some reason this seems to be the hardest. I guess I want to know how to get trough it and what is a good happy medium when it comes to missing him. Thank you!
OH. When do they make the phone call where there they have to read from a script?
When my husband left for our first deployment, my friend gave me the best advice ever. It’s odd but it works…
Set an egg timer for 15 minutes once a day. You have that allotted time to cry, cry if you need to. Then suck it up and be a big girl you’re a military wife and you are strong! It’s not going to be easy, I won’t lie but you have to be strong for him (especially through deployments) If it will help write in a journal those 15 about all the sad stuff. You won’t have to hide all your emotions from your hubby but going on and on will only make him worry and feel guilty.
I know how you’re feeling but try to keep yourself busy. It’s ok to miss him but try not to dwell on it.
My boyfriend has been in basic for 81/2 weeks now and only gets to call on Sundays. We talk for about 5 minutes each week and write to each other as much as possible. Plus, for the past 2 weeks he’s been given his cellphone on Sundays to call and talk all day around meal times.
I write to him daily, it’s my way of staying close and letting him know what has been going on at home while he’s away. He usually sends me a letter once or twice a week. You have to be really sure that you are addressing the letters to him exactly as he does or they might get lost in their mail system. Also, you aren’t allowed to send anything except letters, pictures and newspaper clippings.
Thankfully my boyfriend is in the National Guard and I know he will be coming home after AIT in mid-October.
I am lucky enough to have my kids and family to keep my busy as well as my job but fully understand being lonely without my best friend. Dave enlisted before we met and for me to be with him, I have to accept the military as part of him now. I know that it’s hard and the nights are the worst, but try to find something.
I have also started working out in the evening after I put my kids to bed to keep me busy and it has helped also. Plus when I get to go see him for Family Day and Graduation, I am already 10 pounds lighter!
I totally agree with ‘fatkidoncake’. Don’t stop feeling the emotions, but know that it’s not the end of the world, and that right now it’s just basic training. You’ll see him on 31 October, if I did my calculations correctly. Write him everyday if you have too…my friends did when I went in. It was like a diary…sometimes they’d talk about missing me, other times it was a “well the weather here sucks, hope you’re doing great” and that was it. He’s made a great decision in his life. I know it’s hard to see that now, but you’ll be okay.
I’ve heard of another trick you can do…go buy your favorite drink (coke, pepsi, something like that) and get 58 cans, drink one a day…before you know it you’ll be back together. You can do the same thing with twizzlers, or anything.
You’ll be surprised how fast this goes!
Added: I’m not sure about a script they read from, but you might get a call today letting you know he made it safe and sound. Then after that phone calls will be limited normally to Sunday’s but a lot of that depends on how the flight does as a group and who the TI is.
I know exactly how you feel. My husband left for basic (Air Force) right after we got married. The best advice I can give is to depend on your friends. What I mean by that is don’t just sit at home because that will make time go by even slower. Call up your friends and go do something. Even if you just go out to eat or just go to the mall and walk around. That helped me tremendously while my husband was gone. It helps the time go by and gets your mind off of missing him for a little while. But something else you can do is write him a letter everyday. My husband wrote as often as he could but they don’t have a whole lot of time to do that. But it helps them get through much easier when they know you’re thinking off them and it will make you feel better. Write him everyday and tell him what ‘s going on and how much you miss him and think about him. And when he comes home he will have everyone of those letters that you wrote.
If you have not had a life, outside of your husband before.
Now is when you need to start one.
You have to start developing your own interest and friends.
Your gonna miss him, otherwise you would have never got married.
But you cannot let that dominate your life.
There is no script, when they get a chance to call, they can say whatever they want to, no one is standing over them, telling them what to talk about.
He should call within the first two weeks.
Heres a hint, when you write him, tell him to volunteer to do laundry.
The washing machines are down at the same area the pay phones are at.
And he should be able, to get to the phones, while doing laundry.
Hold tough girl! You will find your ‘happy medium’. Remember that it’s okay to miss him and it’s okay to still enjoy life when he’s not there. I am sure he too would be miserable if he knew you were crying all the time. Find hobbies to keep you focused and look forward to the time when you can be together again! Take Care!!!
The best thing to do is to make plane ticket arrangements to go see him at graduation and look forward to a great weekend when he graduates. I just got back from my wifes AF BMT graduation Sunday night, and it was awesome. What a great set of events and the time will go by fast and you will have a blast when you see him again. Any other Q’s, email me, I have been on both sides of the BMT deal and know how it is.
my husband left the same day your husband left!!!
my husband just left sunday for the airfoce, I miss him like crazy. He called yesterday but it was only to give me his address, we talked to like 5 minutes and i cant even call it talking. He was like reading a script and could not deviate from what it said except for an occasional i love you. He didnt even repeat the address I think i messed up some of it, i had to number after psc … i miss him so much
Reading all of this above has helped me. My husband left June 14th 2010 for BMT at Lackland AFB and I really miss him. I have only talked to him 1 time since he has been gone and that was on fathers day. I have been writing him but haven’t gotten anything back. I just really want to talk to him. i feel so lonely but don’t want to always tell him that in a letter. It doesn’t help either that i’m 7 months pregnant with his first son. By the way I know BMT is 8 1/2 weeks long. Does anyone know when he might graduate. I haven’t gotten any information about it yet.
I am in the same position. My husband left on Sept. 21st for Air Guard Basic Training. I am currently 7 months pregnant and miss him terribly. Some days I just don’t know what to do with myself. I have only talked with him for 3 minutes so far and have not received any letters. I do write him every day though. Can anyone tell me what would be going on the 3rd week on training? I just have so many unanswered questions and am worried about hinm.