Best answer:

Answer by Panda
Its not the end. I know it sounds impossible, but you have to think positively. Right now you are at rock bottom, things cant get any worse. So that means, the only way is up! See, positive thinking!!!!

Please dont sit around moping and feeling sorry for yourself, that wont help at all and this depression will go on forever. You need to pick yourself up. Get some mates together, go out and have some fun to take your mind off things. Keep looking for a new job and eventually (it may take time i know) you can get a new house. Unfortunately you have to just get the bus until you can get your license back, but buses aren’t so bad, and you’ll get your license back eventually, its not forever.
And lastly, once you are feeling better and brighter, you will meet the right woman. Someone who will love you to death and who will want to spend the rest of her life with you, and you will be happy again.
You have to keep remembering that, even though it may take some time, one day you will be happy again, and you will look back on all this and realise that it has just made you stronger. You will be happy again, remember that.

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Question by Savannah L: New Marine wife and I am so very confused! Please HELP!?
PLEASE HELP! I am new to all of this and so very confused right now. I have been married since Dec and only spent 3 weeks with my husband before he left. He is stationed overseas and even with us both busy with our work and the time difference we made time to talk almost everyday. A little over a week ago he started not replying to my emails and would not respond to me on Skype when I knew he was online. Last Tues I received some bad news about my job and so I sent him a email and also left him a message on Skype (because he was online) telling him I needed to talk to him about something important. 5 mins later he responds to me on Skype with a simple “What do you need to tell me?” so I told him the news and then asked why he hasn’t been talking to me and all he could say is “I just don’t feel like talking. I am not mad or anything and nothing is wrong but I don’t want to talk.” :/ He has done this once before but he didn’t go this long with no communication. The last time after he started talking to me again he said he was angry about being over there away from everyone he loves and he wants to come home to start our life together so that is why he just shut me off for the couple days he did. Is this normal? I am worried and mad all at the same time. I left my family to move to his home town when we got married to go ahead and “get on track” here so when he comes home for good in Oct 2010 I would already be settled. I have no one to talk to because I do not live on a base or even close to one. I am just so confused! Please someone…anyone…HELP!

Best answer:

Answer by MOTO_MOTO
i would think that talking to you all the time makes it harder to be away and hes just trying to do his job and get home safely and asap.be patient if you love him.

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Question by Free Willy: Wife filed for divorce. Finalized in ~27 days. Please read this and share your thoughts …?
She left in rage because I didn’t live up to her expectations of who I was when she first met me. I have to admit that I did fail to be a better person at times but I had lost my job of 13 years ago and started school and a new business two months before she left me. I didn’t put her first as I should have. Someone else got her attention as I worked hard to build our future. She desired him. I just found out 3 days ago about all of it. We hadn’t talked for almost a month after she filed. She told me she was done. I had to fix me. I have been studying the Love Dare book. It has truly changed my heart and thoughts of how and who I was then. I spoke with her in person on Wednesday and expressed sincere apologies for MY actions. I think that it touched her a little (before she had a wall of anger against me) She wouldn’t let me even touch her when I first walked in. After talking with her for nearly 5 hours, I think she was thinking of what I had expressed to her, that maybe she still had feelings for me. The “new guy” relationship had apparently fallen apart. He promised her he’d move down to be with her but was still living with his GF. She said he said all the right things and woo’d her while I was not giving her what she wanted. I told her I forgive her. I had a Christian understanding heart at the time we spoke. As I prepared to leave, we hugged and she said that she never thought we would be doing that so soon. As I drove down the driveway, she texted me “you didn’t tell me I had eyeliner smeared on my face” (she did), I texted back – “its ok. lol you were still cute:)” then she texted me “you really do love me”. I called her and she was CRYING. I knew I had touched her heart BUT the question is – HOW? I asked if she wanted me to come back and she said no it was ok. She said it was the first time she had cried this whole time. We hung up and I got home. That night at midnight she sent me this text “I forgive you”. That was the last I had ever heard from her. I texted her the next morning “Good morning Joey:) If you need anything today, let me know. I hope you have a good day:)” Have heard nothing since. Where do I go from here? I think give her space and MAYBE she will think of me and the truth of how I am now.. Advice? SERIOUS ONLY please Thankyou
Oh yeah – on the negative side of things that occured that night when we talked …
She did express a couple of times how she was still thinking of our futures independently … also she asked how I knew she was seeing that guy. I told her it explained a lot why she didn’t want to work through our problems and I had a feeling there was someone else. I saw on her Myspace when she was online and when he was. She said that’s kind of stalking. I explained to her I was trying to figure out what was really going on. She had done the same thing herself before. Now she has her Myspace to not show when she is online (probably because of what I said. Soooo I dunno… Is she thinking of what to do about me, or did she tell me “I forgive you” so I could have peace in my heart and move on?

Best answer:

Answer by slam 50
the ball is in her court don’t push it.

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Question by pheggie101: ladies please explain these statements from my ex wife?
Ok,in short we are divorced,tried to reconcile but after a 2 years she left for another man and is now married 5-6 weeks,after a two month engagement. Over the last 2 weeks she has said these things to me in person (we have kids)..”i don’t know why you think this is so easy for me?”…….”we were so good together in intimacy”..”and i have a problem with that now”…….”i wasn’t looking at your clothes i was looking at you”….”can i have a hug goodbye?”….”can i have another?”…..”i just stopped by to see you”, i havent seen you in a while”.then she goes on and on about how happy she is,loves her man,can’t wait till he gets home…….It is becoming a problem and i can’t seem to get her to stop,i am seriously thinking of a restraing order,as she has entered my house twice while i was gone and looked around………..thanks

Best answer:

Answer by Mean Carleen
Change the locks and STOP talking to her if it doesnt involve the kids. Discuss the kids and hang up. Do not see her if you dont have to. TELL her to back off because it sounds like she is playing with your head.

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Question by Blk Angel: Please tell me if this is Crazy..My wife plans a divorce behind my back because I didnt go visit her parents..
I am really trying to understand this crazy situation.My wife’s parents visited from Nigeria 2 months ago. They usually stay at their house tht they have here in the States and her father said he wanted to see me before he left. I thought about it, and I then decided not to go because of what he did last year. Basically, I went out to run errands and one of them was to buy tampons for my wife. I stop by Lowes to get a compressor and call my wife to tell her I will be back later than I planned. Wife ends up going crazy and says I am out with another woman then moved out for 2 weeks. Her family supports her and her dad who I thought is objective has a man-to-man talk with me and tells me “it is her legitimate right not to trust you.” Siince then, the marriage has suffered greatly and this is the reason I didnt go see her father when he said he wanted to talk to me. I felt he is not a fair man and what good advice could he have to offer after he showed how unfair he is.
When I decided not to go see him, my wife comes back from visiting them and then starts to plan for a divorce with the collaboration of her family (especially her mother). She makes plans to sneak her stuff out slowly, research divorce lawyers and all. I found out about her plans as she wrote all this down in her organizer and I found them. I made copies of EVERYTHING and even gave her the opportunity to come clean with me, but she didnt. The day I “literally” threw her plans in front of her, she got defensive, then starts crying. Now we are seperating and she has been crying and been in pain all the while. She says she wants us to work things out but to be honest, she has really caused me alot of pain. She is in a struggle of listening to her heart, or listening to her mom pressure her to get a divorce. I feel her parents are her priority and I will never be. So I want to file for a divorce even though she doesnt. Do you think I should??

Best answer:

Answer by AnJi
Good grief….

Caint we all just get along??

This is why married folks need to keep their business between themselves and leave the parents out of it!

Your wife sounds immature!

Good luck – I think you’ll need it!

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Anyway, there’s this girl let’s call her Laura (there will be a lot of girls mentioned here so I have to come up with fake names for them). I’ve known “Laura” since Kindergarten, and I’ve had a crush on her since the third grade. Right now I’m in the eighth grade. She doesn’t know I like her, and I think I’m literally in love with her. Like I love her To death, and I feel a passion I never felt before when I’m near her. She used to be gorgeous, now she is just pretty, but I think its because I liked her so much back then that I love her so much now. I could see us married, happily. And I can see her as my life, my love, and my wife, and ive written countless poems to her but never sent them. And this is where the trouble starts:

Last week, I was talking to her friend…um, “Ana” yeah, “Ana.” so I told “Ana” that I liked her BFF and about my plans to win her heart and get her to fall in love with me, and she was all, “Aaaaaawwwww!!!! That is so cute! You are the sweetest, cutest, most wonderful guy ever! She is so lucky to have you!” and then, as she left, half of me said “ooh-la-la,” and the other half said “oh no.” I developed a crush on her, too! A big one, too, she has occupied my thoughts this week as much as Laura did these past five years! I still love Laura, but I think I love Ana, also.

I work at the school library during third period with this other girl, let’s call her Jacqueline. Sjhe and I have so much in common and are great friends, she can really make me laugh. One of my friends said we were perfect for each other, and that he could just picture us as a married couple. At first I thought that gross and awkward. But then I realized it: I’m not physically attracted to Jacqueline one bit, but I really like spending time wih her. Not as a friend, but not quite like a lover. I don’t know what to think on that. Then there’s (let’s call her) Angela, who has a crush on me. She’s really sweet and all, but I don’t think I really like her.

Finally there’s my mystery girl. Whenever I dream bout Love, relationships, or the future, I’m always dating/married to this woman whose name is never revealed and whom I’ve never seen before. She’s extremely pretty and very sweet, nice, and practically perfect. A part of my mind keeps telling me “forget all the others and wait for this woman, she will come soon and outshine the rest.” while another part says “it’s just a figment of your imaginations, you need a REAL girlfriend.”

Someone told me i should date them all (not at the same time) and see which one is the best, but i don’t want to do that. All my life I’ve wanted to make it so I’ve only had one girlfriend, so our
relationship is special. And then my mother told me to just focus and see with which one i picture myself the best with, but that didn’t work. What should I do? Who should I choose? Are these real emotions, or am I getting desperate for female company?

Best answer:

Answer by ♥I [̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̲̅] ოἶƈհმεl ʝმƈƙʂօղ ♥
You’re in 8th grade in you’re thinking about marriage? damn, chill out. You’re going to have LOTS of girlfriends before you get married and you shouldn’t be searching for your wife at age what, 13? that’s just stupid. Enjoy being young while you can or you’ll regret it later. Just have fun with girls now, and don’t be so serious and focused on finding your wife.

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Since the dream, I’m recalling many events I felt had no significance, such as a time at a concert we had all went to where Mike’s wife was staring at me while he was away, the way she used to dress whenever I was around, laying on top of Mike when he’s on the floor playing with their 1 year old twins telling him “You know you want it” loud enough for me to hear, & moments where she’ll speak to me in a sweet, innocent tone or pat me on the head while she walks by, & with that in mind, I’m growing very paranoid & afraid. I cannot tell Mike this, as I know he will sever all ties with me. And I’m going to have to do away with pride for a moment…part of me enjoys the thought of her being attracted to me, even if it is me making a big deal out of nothing. I’m almost 20, & I’m still a virgin, & this whole thing is affecting me badly. I still want to find true love someday, & I’d never betray my friend like that. I also feel the need to say I never once found her attractive in my ENTIRE time knowing them. Half the time when she did these things, I left the room. But thinking all this is making me look at her differently. It’s sick & wrong. I know this to be the truth, and yet I can’t accept it. My immediate solution has been to stop spending the night at their house. Mike continues to call me, asking why I’ve stopped coming over, & every time we talk I feel a cold sense of guilt wash over me. I’ve done nothing wrong. Hardly even a month ago, I had another dream, but this dream went a bit further, with her coming into my room & taking off her bra in front of me (I had the dream at Mike’s house). But a big difference in that dream was that I vividly recall telling her “I guarantee you that this will not happen as long as I have anything to say about it”, & I woke up in a cold sweat.

I’m compelled to ask this because under 5 hours ago, I went to Mike’s house, & when I arrived, it was his wife at the door with Mike’s sister (Mike had left to run an errand across town, which I didn’t know). Before I could even walk in, Mike’s wife exclaimed my name & said now that I had showed up, it was a perfect day. Mike’s sister looked up at her & asked her why in the world it was a perfect day since I was there, & Mike’s wife said “just because everybody else has been here today to visit, & now having him here will be good for Mike”. After she said that, both me & Mike’s sister looked at each other suggesting the same expression (“is she serious with this?”), & since I looked at Mike’s sister like that, she didn’t ask any questions & left. But considering Mike was gone at the time, I decided to give an excuse to leave, & I left to drive for a while to make sure I wasn’t in the house until Mike came back (which I am REALLY proud of, as I know I did the right thing, but as soon as I got home, I had these horrible feelings. It’s as if she’s trying to make me feel wanted because she knows that’s what I need right now since I’ve been lonely lately, which I’m beginning to feel is very emotionally manipulative of her. But I’m still confused & can’t find a way to rid myself of these feelings).

I need to know why I’m feeling the guilt, especially when considering I’ve done nothing wrong, & how I can stop feeling this way when CLEARLY I’ve shown the will & fortitude to be able to avoid her. Once more, I CAN’T tell Mike about this. Regardless of what the truth is, he would take it as though I’m attracted to her & I’m trying to get with her, & he wouldn’t see that I’m showing concern over his wife’s inappropriate actions & he’d force me out of his life, & I think this time it could be permanent. Telling him is not a viable solution. I also thought of dropping hints of my own, using some other friends in the same situation I find myself in as an example, to secretly tell Mike’s wife how terrible I think

Best answer:

Answer by The Space Goblin
i’m so sorry. you’re between a rock and a hard place: jeopardizing a great friendship or ruining a marriage. i admire your fortitude. the best thing you can do, if you’ve ruled out telling him about his wife’s behavior, is to say, ‘look, man, you know i love you like a brother and all, but i’m going through a rough time and i need to just get away from everyone for a while, focus on my work [or whatever], and get my mind right.”

HOWEVER, are you 5ure his wife isn’t just a slut across the board? her behavior does sound manipulative, but it also sounds desperate…she must be really unhappy herself, if she’s willing to risk her marriage like that. OR she could just be a slut. hard to say. either way, i can’t think of a good way to tell Mike…the best thing you can do is to continue to tactfully avoid them.

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I have known her brother for a few years but only casually because when we first met he was married and always thought he was a funny guy but that was it. While we were on this trip we went to a club and my best friends brother “James” and I danced together and that was it sparks flew and since that day we have talked on the phone, hung out and texts daily 11 months later now – yes, I am a bad person, I am still with my boyfriend however I don’t know what to do because I do care for him and don’t want to hurt him I think “James” has been okay with this because prior to our January trip he had recently separated with his wife, I think I am the first girl he has connected with so closely since his x-wife (she left him). Anyhow, lately things have been weird between us (he has told me many times he loves me more than I know if only there was something he could do but I am taken, that his self and his time are for me and that I am always in his heart these things were even said less than 2 weeks ago) He has talked about him and I being together, that he could have me every night, tuck me in at night and cook me my favorite foods, he does still love his X I know that but he has said he feels there is just too much hurt they have done to each other for it to work.

ANYWAY it’s been the longest we have went without talking so tonight we talked and he said the following this of which was via text cause I couldn’t talk on the phone…what do you make of his comments…here is how our conversation went:

Me: sorry missed your call – how are you, haven’t talked to you in awhile anything new?
Him: not really what’s up with you
Me: nothing new, just working getting ready for the holidays, you said something happened this weekend is everything ok?
Him: Yea, everything ok with you?
Me: yeah I’m good, I don’t hear from u much which is ok I know u r busy, I just miss u a little
Him: Well me too I am kind of seeing this girl but not really I am not ready for anything to be honest doesn’t feel right for some reason
Me: well guess it’s good u r dating, y u think it doesn’t feel right, cause you are not ready to move on from your x-wife? and who is the new girl?
Him: Well I’m not dating but she is an old friend, she is nice but in a way woman they don’t feel right now p.s. don’t worry i’m not gay.
Me: wow, i am worried, you say woman don’t feel right ? lol just kidding well sometimes a person just needs time for themselves plus u have boys to focus on and the holidays OH also did you want to hang out Friday w/me & “tom” (my boyfriend since January)
Him: Im not sure please understand I will let you know ok.
Me: Ok, I’m sorry James. And sorry if I had expectations of u that weren’t fair to u considering the situation i never meant to do that in the end I just care and hope to be your friend ok
Him: But u are and always will ok
Me: Ok, thanks. Have a nice night, hope your boys are good and you guys have a great holiday.

If women don’t feel right, how did I feel right for so long as 11 months? I mean I guess I just don’t know what to think, is he including me in the women or what is he saying?

That was it and I did hear from him today asking how I am doing with all the snow we have been getting, but it was very casual and just said he hopes I am doing great. I would rather he explain everything to me however since he wont contact me I ask of all of you….how would you take his comments in our conversation either A. he is trying to say with the comments “women don’t feel right now” that I don’t feel right anymore and he has moved on because later when I ask to hang out he says “please understand” understand what? OR B. he is trying to say women don’t feel right due to what we had and he is trying to move on but it’s hard and he would rather have no communication to move on OR what do you think? I have racked my brain and wish he would just tell me so I know…

SOO please help me and try to be nice I know I am being bad to my current man but this is sooooo hard and I don’t know what to think or feel of any of this.

PS me and James have been intimate which makes this all the more complicated and hard.

Best answer:

Answer by Ryan F
Your reading into his message to much.
He just divorced so he probably is not in desperate need of girl friend as much as just a piece.
You never take texts as serious as talking. There’s no emotion in them and words are easily confused.
You may have also just been his rebound.. Convenient, willing.
Just move on and be with your boyfirend. He LOVES you.
“James” just may be acting on lust, or just saying what he can to get in bed with you.

What do you think? Answer below!

Question by spicey24: PLEASE read and help…long story but really need insight!?!?
Long story but PLEASE read and help me – in need of serious help and advice?
My relationship w/this guy is very hard to explain and too long for any of you to read. I will try to make it as short as I can, in January of this year I went on a trip w/my best friend, her husband, her brother and my boyfriend.

I have known her brother for a few years but only casually because when we first met he was married and always thought he was a funny guy but that was it. While we were on this trip we went to a club and my best friends brother “James” and I danced together and that was it sparks flew and since that day we have talked on the phone, hung out and texts daily 11 months later now – yes, I am a bad person, I am still with my boyfriend however I don’t know what to do because I do care for him and don’t want to hurt him I think “James” has been okay with this because prior to our January trip he had recently separated with his wife, I think I am the first girl he has connected with so closely since his x-wife (she left him). Anyhow, lately things have been weird between us (he has told me many times he loves me more than I know if only there was something he could do but I am taken, that his self and his time are for me and that I am always in his heart these things were even said less than 2 weeks ago) He has talked about him and I being together, that he could have me every night, tuck me in at night and cook me my favorite foods, he does still love his X I know that but he has said he feels there is just too much hurt they have done to each other for it to work.

ANYWAY it’s been the longest we have went without talking so tonight we talked and he said the following this of which was via text cause I couldn’t talk on the phone…what do you make of his comments…here is how our conversation went:

Me: sorry missed your call – how are you, haven’t talked to you in awhile anything new?
Him: not really what’s up with you
Me: nothing new, just working getting ready for the holidays, you said something happened this weekend is everything ok?
Him: Yea, everything ok with you?
Me: yeah I’m good, I don’t hear from u much which is ok I know u r busy, I just miss u a little
Him: Well me too I am kind of seeing this girl but not really I am not ready for anything to be honest doesn’t feel right for some reason
Me: well guess it’s good u r dating, y u think it doesn’t feel right, cause you are not ready to move on from your x-wife? and who is the new girl?
Him: Well I’m not dating but she is an old friend, she is nice but in a way woman they don’t feel right now p.s. don’t worry i’m not gay.
Me: wow, i am worried, you say woman don’t feel right ? lol just kidding well sometimes a person just needs time for themselves plus u have boys to focus on and the holidays OH also did you want to hang out Friday w/me & “tom” (my boyfriend since January)
Him: Im not sure please understand I will let you know ok.
Me: Ok, I’m sorry James. And sorry if I had expectations of u that weren’t fair to u considering the situation i never meant to do that in the end I just care and hope to be your friend ok
Him: But u are and always will ok
Me: Ok, thanks. Have a nice night, hope your boys are good and you guys have a great holiday.

If women don’t feel right, how did I feel right for so long as 11 months? I mean I guess I just don’t know what to think, is he including me in the women or what is he saying?

Today I sent him a casual message and he said “hey its great to hear from you” even though we just talk yesterday.I would rather he explain everything to me however since he wont contact me I ask of all of you….how would you take his comments in our conversation either A. he is trying to say with the comments “women don’t feel right now” that I don’t feel right anymore and he has moved on because later when I ask to hang out he says “please understand” understand what? OR B. he is trying to say women don’t feel right due to what we had and he is trying to move on but it’s hard and he would rather have no communication to move on OR what do you think? I have racked my brain and wish he would just tell me so I know…

SOO please help me and try to be nice I know I am being bad to my current man but this is sooooo hard and I don’t know what to think or feel of any of this.

PS me and James have been intimate which makes this all the more complicated and hard.

Best answer:

Answer by that guy
great question ….i’d love to help you but i have some paint i’m watching dry

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I have known her brother for a few years but only casually because when we first met he was married and always thought he was a funny guy but that was it. While we were on this trip we went to a club and my best friends brother “James” and I danced together and that was it sparks flew and since that day we have talked on the phone, hung out and texts daily 11 months later now – yes, I am a bad person, I am still with my boyfriend however I don’t know what to do because I do care for him and don’t want to hurt him I think “James” has been okay with this because prior to our January trip he had recently separated with his wife, I think I am the first girl he has connected with so closely since his x-wife (she left him). Anyhow, lately things have been weird between us (he has told me many times he loves me more than I know if only there was something he could do but I am taken, that his self and his time are for me and that I am always in his heart these things were even said less than 2 weeks ago) He has talked about him and I being together, that he could have me every night, tuck me in at night and cook me my favorite foods, he does still love his X I know that but he has said he feels there is just too much hurt they have done to each other for it to work.

ANYWAY it’s been the longest we have went without talking so tonight we talked and he said the following this of which was via text cause I couldn’t talk on the phone…what do you make of his comments…here is how our conversation went:

Me: sorry missed your call – how are you, haven’t talked to you in awhile anything new?
Him: not really what’s up with you
Me: nothing new, just working getting ready for the holidays, you said something happened this weekend is everything ok?
Him: Yea, everything ok with you?
Me: yeah I’m good, I don’t hear from u much which is ok I know u r busy, I just miss u a little
Him: Well me too I am kind of seeing this girl but not really I am not ready for anything to be honest doesn’t feel right for some reason
Me: well guess it’s good u r dating, y u think it doesn’t feel right, cause you are not ready to move on from your x-wife? and who is the new girl?
Him: Well I’m not dating but she is an old friend, she is nice but in a way woman they don’t feel right now p.s. don’t worry i’m not gay.
Me: wow, i am worried, you say woman don’t feel right ? lol just kidding well sometimes a person just needs time for themselves plus u have boys to focus on and the holidays OH also did you want to hang out Friday w/me & “tom” (my boyfriend since January)
Him: Im not sure please understand I will let you know ok.
Me: Ok, I’m sorry James. And sorry if I had expectations of u that weren’t fair to u considering the situation i never meant to do that in the end I just care and hope to be your friend ok
Him: But u are and always will ok
Me: Ok, thanks. Have a nice night, hope your boys are good and you guys have a great holiday.

If women don’t feel right, how did I feel right for so long as 11 months? I mean I guess I just don’t know what to think, is he including me in the women or what is he saying?

Today I sent him a casual message and he said “hey its great to hear from you” even though we just talk yesterday.I would rather he explain everything to me however since he wont contact me I ask of all of you….how would you take his comments in our conversation either A. he is trying to say with the comments “women don’t feel right now” that I don’t feel right anymore and he has moved on because later when I ask to hang out he says “please understand” understand what? OR B. he is trying to say women don’t feel right due to what we had and he is trying to move on but it’s hard and he would rather have no communication to move on OR what do you think? I have racked my brain and wish he would just tell me so I know…

SOO please help me and try to be nice I know I am being bad to my current man but this is sooooo hard and I don’t know what to think or feel of any of this.

PS me and James have been intimate which makes this all the more complicated and hard. AND today I heard from James sister (she is one of my best friends that his X is 5 months pregnant maybe this is why he is distant but suprised he hasn’t told me this info)

Best answer:

Answer by B@By G1Rl
Well, im not a guy but i think that he is still trying to get over his ex-wife and u have been keeping in communication 4 eleven months now?
he said women don`t feel right? i think that means he is still loving his ex and yea he doesn’tt want to let go of her although he is trying, do u feel the same for him as he does for u? thats the question u need to ask yourself

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