Question by Kacey: My boyfriend acts really odd sometimes.?
Could reallyyyy use some good advice here…
I’m 37 years old, have been dating a guy for about four months. He is 41. He has been married twice… The first time to his high school sweetheart, they have 3 daughters and were together about 12 years. He then married another girl but she left after less than a year, he has been divorced from her about a year. I don’t really know the reasons behind his divorces… The 2nd wife left (according to him) because she wanted to see other people. Whatever that means…
So, he lives about 60 miles away and we spend the night together anywhere from once to three times per week. He drinks most days of the week, and when we go out, we always seem to drink. I’ve never been a big drinker, but with him, I find myself drinking more than I normally do. He drinks most nights at home by himself. The problem is that he just gets really weird when we’re making plans… Like most guys I have dated aren’t set on a time, but this guy doesn’t want me at his house until he is literally ready to go out… He’ll text me “I’m ready” when he’s ready to go. Then, when we’re out, he can’t keep his eyes off of every short skirt that walks by… I mean it’s BAD… He just stares and stares. I met him the same way in a bar… I saw him around for a few weeks and he would stare at me, and we finally got the nerve to talk. After he has 3-4 drinks, he’s all over me and always wants me to stay with him. We have sex, but half the time he can’t keep it up (graphic I know). He doesn’t act like it’s a big deal, so I’m sure I’m not the first woman it’s happened with. The other issue is that he almost constantly makes reference to “ex #1″ or “ex #2,” I just don’t know how he could possibly care for me and want to be with me if he’s always talking about his ex’s and staring at other girls. I haven’t brought anything up to him about the “issues…” I think that these are areas that a guy would KNOW better than to talk about with his current girlfriend. I can’t change the guy…. He says he likes me, but I’m not so sure. Maybe I’m just someone to fill in the blanks right now? Maybe he’s just too screwed up for me to be with? Also, he’s had some legal problems… He got arrested with pot and for driving without a valid license right after I met him. I don’t do drugs, so I was concerned, but decided that I liked him enough to stay with him as long as he was willing to do whatever was needed to get his license back. He did get an attorney and is working on getting his shit together legally….
I texted him this morning that I’m just not sure of his feelings, that I am confused as to if we should be together and he sent me a msg back that said “I don’t get it.” When I explained more, he texted me back “I just don’t know what I am doing wrong.” I haven’t heard another word from him since 11am this morning… I’m guessing that he’s either mad, hurt, or just doesn’t give a damn. Maybe all three. I think I have been VERY good to this guy. I make sure to tell him what a great guy I think he is, we talk about everything for HOURS sometimes. I am really upset and hurt and angry over his behavior…. I just don’t know what the HELL to think!
Any advice at all would be appreciated… I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall here… After 4 months, I would think that we should be on the same page as far as if this relationship is going forward, or we should end up. He hasn’t introduced me to anyone in his family… His girls haven’t been over more than 3 times since I met him due to his license issue. He has met my mom and son.
Thanks for any thoughts…. Kacey
Best answer:
Answer by Erica
I think you should call him and see whats going on tell him how you feel. I think right now he has alot going on right now that he needs to take care of. Maybe it isn’t the right time for him to be in a relationship. Definitely talk to him and find out where his mind is and let him know your concerns.
I wish you and your daughter the best of luck:)
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