Question by Rebecca B: Ok, so Im an army wife and i think Iraq has affected my hubby?We were married in 2006 and a month later he was
shipped off to iraq. I moved from my hometown and left everyone to come up to Alaska. A week before he left I found out I was pregnant and was hoping he would be there for it but he got extended. It was his first tour in Iraq. He called and we talked online. Then I told him I had a myspace and I found out he had one for about 6 months,I thought it was odd he didnt tell me. Then he had all these girls messaging him and he said “im married and have a baby on the way but we can still chat”…but no one replied. Then I discovered he was talking to his ex gf who he has always said he hated. I asked him not to talk to her and he said “shes one of my bestest friends and shes means as much to me almost as much as you mean to me”. I was due to give birth in 2 days when he told me this and then he hung up on me. So he promised to stop then after 2 months of being home ,,i found a secret myspace they had and he told her he loved her.he stopped talking to her. but i am not allowed on his mysWTF?
Best answer:
Answer by Paralegal1982
Okay, I am an army wife in alaska…and I went through the same bullshit! If you need to talk, instant message me! Philipsgirl1982. I left my friends and family and moved up here to be with my husband, got pregnant in Feb of 07…and he started messing up bad. Things are okay now, but for a while i thought about leaving! So anyway….you know what I really think. This god forsaken place is so boring, that our men talk to other women on the internet out of boredom. You hear about it sooooooo much more here! Anyway…if you wanna talk I am here! I have a lot of experiences with this, so I can relate. One thing is for sure, he should delete myspace, and you guys get one together. He doesn’t need to tell you your not allowed to get on anything after his behavior! You need to demand all the passwords to everything…and look at his phone bills. So is he deploying again soon?
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I’m an Army wife also; however, I don’t think it’s Iraq that affected your hubby in terms of his love life. Why does he feel the need to have two women? I think he’s acting like a typical jerk who is confused and doesn’t know what he has at home and once he loses you and his kid he’ll try to snap back to reality. Creating a fake myspace is incrediably immature and telling his ex he loves her!? Has zero to do with Iraq in my opinion. My husband has never let his military duties affect our personal marriage, and no other woman has made him do those things. Good luck sweetie, don’t make excuses for your hubby’s behavior; he’s acting like a jerk.
source: army wife with active duty army officer husband served 6 years.
From the sounds of some of your issues, this relationship is on the path to a rocky and downright nasty split up unless you are both willing to make the sacrifices needed and put the work into a relationship really needs. The Myspace thing is quite concerning as I know tons of family and friends who have lost partners due to it. Most people who are out to do these things wertent in the relationship for the right reasons in the first place. I would definitely sit him down discuss your concerns and if he doesnt see your side of the matter then things wont change. It will just get worse, from there you must decide if being unhappy in this marriage and resenting him for ruining your life is where you want to go with your future, because the highway to misery is a short road, and from the tones of disapproval you are already hitting the exit ramp.
Your husband is an immature selfish egotistical child and player he doesn’t want any one else to have what he has and expects to get everything he wants….. Go to a lawyer and get everything you can then find a MAN and not a boy Good Luck
sounds like he never got over her. While in Iraq most of the guys and gals have myspace. that is there way of communication with family & friends. you have no idea what he and others have or had to experience. So don’t be hard on him for communicating on myspace. They have enough to worry about, so you were adding stress he didn’t need. it would be different if he wasn’t trying to stay alive every second of each day. I know you are hurt over this, hopefully yall can try to make it work, have you had your baby? How is hubby adjusting since he has been back and a child & wife to take care of? He can get counseling. have a friend you trust check out his myspace, sounds like he is trying to hang on to the past. If he starts being gone alot, then give him the boot.
confront him about it
im a marine wife, my husband just got back from his first deployment to iraq 2 months ago, i just found out im pregnant… and hes been pullin some shit like that too! i left everything to move to north carolina for him, (which is not as far as alaska! but i still relate to your situation) sounds like you need to do something about this little relationship he has with his ex, it is def NOT ok for him to be an asshole to you during pregnancy, deployed or not he has no right to be a jerk during a time like that! especially when he is missing it. the fact that he hid the myspace means somethings up. it might not be anything major but he must be hiding something. which is the same thing that happened with me! If you wanna talk my email is usmcwife910@yahoo.com…..feel free to message me and i hope it works out, for both of us =/
girl you think you got it bad shit me an my husband has been together for 5 years the first time in iraq he cheated on me never told me turns out she pregant an we found out a year later she never told us til she wanted money! we got divorce then we got married again yea dumb on my part but i think hes learned his lession! I THINK!lol we were even high school sweet hearts men are men there are good men an there are men who think there sneaky an there really not! remember what goes around comes around it always will!
I am sorry for your situation. Don’t let your husband blame this shit on the war. Don’t let yourself excuse his behavior either, He not only is being emotionally unfaithful to you, lying to you about it but he is putting your family at risk. No more babies. Seriously and don’t get knocked up because he gives you puppy dog eyes or heaven forbid – a tattoo of your name or some other stupid shit. You have a bad husband. That’s it. It isn’t OK – his behavior and not all men do this. Do you really think this is all you are worth?