Question by SalesDude: my wife left me because of a career?
my wife left me last summer, took the kids and moved four hours away . against the advice of her best friend and other mutual friends. I asked her why. there was no clear cut answer. I wasnt abusive, no drugs alcohol, the kids were in a stable environment.We had plenty of sex. we got along fine and had our typical arguments like any other couple. However she stayed home for a year to take care of our newborn son. after two weeks of being gone she says I can come to live with her. we are living together now, She tells me “isn’t great that we are getting along soo well” I thought to myself , “we always got along this well”. I’M very hurt and I dont trust her now. I always ask her “why did you leave?” she has no answer. I think she left because she got a teaching job here. what do you think?
let me add something else, if I was such a “bad” person or if she was unhappy with me, then why did she want me to move with her? the whole thing doen’t add up! I asked her if she would move again to a far away place if she needed another job, she said yes. I dont think , by her actions , that she is commited to our marriage, so why should I stick around, when she will leave me again? She has already broken our vows, ruined the family, the kids would have a better life with a stable father than a mom whos primary care in life is her career. Any comments…
Best answer:
Answer by dianesomeone
I think you are right and that she has issues with honesty…be wary but I hope it works for you
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She left , because she was not happy, why ? I dont know. Ya’ll need to talk this out, see where the problem is, there is something missing here.
you didn’t pay her enough. see, thats why american men are divorced so much. do you really think she was having sex with you because you were ‘handsome’?
I think she had her reasons that she won’t tell until she’s ready…and she may never be ready, move on…be the best Dad you can and move on
Has nothing to do with trust…It’s a question of ecnomics. I suspect had you been able to provide a comfortable lifestyle she wouldn’t search for a way to augment the pot.
A one year old? Post partum depression. Be happy that you are back together where ever that may be.
Yes your wife wasn,t happy where you and her were at,thats what it looks like to me….Did your wife ever complain about where you two were living?Did she want to go to work?She had to say something that you somehow missed….She just up and left for no Reason? this makes no sense to me…If you think she left because of a teaching job then you would know more about that than us on yahoo answers..If thats true ,she never seemed unhappy before??? You need to think back and remember what lead up to this move….If your wife left you to get a teaching job,im sure she must have talked about this before,and you just did not listen….You sound as though you might be a little on the passive side….Anyway Im glad you two are back togeather and doing well…
I seriously doubt that the job was the real cause. There’s probably some deep-seated issue going on that you can’t detect. Maybe she just stopped loving you for some reason.
If you are being honest, then perhaps there are other reasons. Maybe she fell in love, maybe she found out you were into pornography, or feared you questioned your sexuality. I cannot believe she would leave just for a teaching job, teaching jobs pay very little–max $ 45,000 a year. That is not enough to justify ending a marriage. There must be another impetus. (P.S. Since you answered my question: I don’t know what you mean “negative influences” I don’t actually have ANY friends and am with my 3 kids (1 of his from previous marriage) 24/7. I haven’t had coffee, etc., with someone other than my husband for YEARS! Don’t attach your baggage to other people. No, our situations aren’t the same, b/c at least you were having sex. We have NO SEX-which is the primary problem. (2nd answer) NO DUH…I don’t NOT want him. I just am tired from being the only caretaker. Neither he nor his family nor the bio mother’s family will chip in. I *think* that’s a little much for someone who dropped out of grad school to care for his child. But, you know so much.