Question by Jade: Question for men, which one is true?
A> Absence makes the heart grow fonder
-OR-
B> Out of sight, out of mind
I have been in a relationship for a year and had to go out of town for 10 days. He barely calls or answers his phone when I call. But when I do talk to him, he sounds really depressed, is quiet, and softly says repeatedly,”You left me!” What is going on here? He knew that I was going. We are having a bit of strain in the marriage right now because of some evidence that I have discovered and I have concluded that he is cheating. So I figured that a little space might help; if he wants to be with the “other” woman, this would be his “golden” opportunity so that he can make a decision which one he wants to be with ( I told him to choose because I WILL NOT SHARE). He left a message or two on my voice mail and he sounded like he’s really down.
Will a short absence like this make a man appreciate his wife more and realize what he could lose?
Best answer:
Answer by Panama Joe
The short answer is that neither and both can be true. For me, it’s “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ but I can have my head turned without doing anything about it. When I used to travel, I never, ever cheated, but I would be known to chat up a pretty girl.
Give your answer to this question below!
Well honestly both are true for men
you see being men we are very practical goal orientated things so if we have a job or something to do or even a tv show to watch we are practically totally focused on what ever it is we are doing. which is the “out of sight out of mind” BUT if we ever get time to think about things other than what ever job it is we are doing, then our minds tend to wander and inevitable for your husband his mind will wander to you and he will miss you. so Absence will make his heart grow fonder … a little bit anyway ^^
It sounds as if he’s realising what it might be like without you, but seriously, a relationship thats only a year old and he’s cheating already – dont waste your time, girl.
I think your on track but if I was you when I left I would have told him don’t call me I will call you when I am coming back.
the thing is he really loved you and your absence make him fell like there is one thing that he can’t live without and that’s you. he clearly choose you over that other woman. and the answer for your question is yes. hope you both can sort things out.
A short absence will definitely make him start feeling the consequences of his actions.
Hello there, first of all my name is Sam Everson and I’m a social analyst from thesocialdynamic.com
The answer is C> Every man is different and this factor depends on;
a. His insecurity levels
b. His commitment and interest levels in the relationship
c. His ambition
Sounds like the two of you could do with some space, so the 10 days away could do both of you some good.
However, when you go back I would suggest talking to him. Sit down with him, just two human beings communicating with each other here, no raised voices or anything like that; it’s extremely unnecessary. Tell him how you feel and tell him that you have DOUBTS that he might be cheating. DO NOT accuse him of it.
End of the day you’re married. The one strength and weakness in your marriage is your communication skills.
I run a website called thesocialdynamic.com . It has an Ask Me section on so if you ever wanted anymore help with this I am always available.
I hope what I have said helps, and the best of luck to you both.
Sam Everson
Both.
it depends on your mood at the time.
If you are angry, B.
Once you’re over the anger, A.
OK, let’s look at this logically. You’re gone. He doesn’t all or answer his phone. Do you not think that if he truly missed you, he would be calling every minute? Duh! If you’ve found evidence he’s cheating, he’s probably doing it more while you’re gone. That depression is probably from the guilt he is feeling. His heart has not grown fonder. If it had, he would be trying to get in touch with you as many times as he could.
I was once in the situation where I was the one traveling. I would call when I was able given the schedule and the home schedule. I was accused of having a woman in every different city I had to go to. I finally had enough and replied with this. “You are correct. I do not have enough problems to deal with right here. I have to have a completely different set in every damn city I am in. All of this while working at least 50 hours a week. Just where the hell do you think that money comes from?”
Was never treated that way again. Some time a good defense is an absolutely in your face offense.
Just be yourself. It doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else.
B.
And what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you.
You don’t pack-up and leave town for 10 days during martial problems.
This is now the emotional equivalent of a separation.
Given his reaction he wasn’t cheating.
You just demonstrated that he doesn’t have you so he can’t really loose you.
Oh…. I just realized “what’s wrong with you”.
You suck at marriage but you already know this because you know you’re a cheating slut projecting what you have done onto your husband.
…
bootontheroad … Nevermind.
…
“Hello there, first of all my name is Sam Everson and I’m a social analyst from thesocialdynamic.com”
Hi Sam! Nice to meet you! It sounds like you got a good thing going on at The Social Dynamic!!!!
“The answer is C> Every man is different and this factor depends on”
Really? I thought the Y chromosome meant we all acted exactly alike… Wow, mind-bending stuff here, thanks Sam!
“a. His insecurity levels
b. His commitment and interest levels in the relationship
c. His ambition”
Hum… so let’s suppose he’s really insecure, committed, and unambitious.
“Sounds like the two of you could do with some space, so the 10 days away could do both of you some good.”
Oh yeah! This way she can go out and get laid and not feel guilty about it since he’ll be doing the same thing!!!
I like the way you ‘think’ Sammy!!!
“However, when you go back I would suggest talking to him. Sit down with him, just two human beings communicating with each other here, no raised voices or anything like that; it’s extremely unnecessary. Tell him how you feel and tell him that you have DOUBTS that he might be cheating. DO NOT accuse him of it. ”
Ohhhh, yeah of course they need to do this because clearly how she feels is most important.
“End of the day you’re married. The one strength and weakness in your marriage is your communication skills.”
Wow! Get this guys, both a strength AND a weakness AT THE SAME TIME! You blow my mind Samuel.
“I run a website called thesocialdynamic.com . It has an Ask Me section on so if you ever wanted anymore help with this I am always available.”
orly… I guess we’ll be talking a lot more! I can’t wait!!!
“I hope what I have said helps, and the best of luck to you both.
Sam Everson”
I’m certain it’ll help a lot!!!