my wife left (seperated) a few days ago. she said tht she needed to find herself. i am devistated. there was no abuse, no lying, no fooling around. and we love each other very much. she said i was her third child and she didnt have anything else to give. i definitly see were shes coming from and am willing to do what ever she needs to help. cousuling is not something she wants to do. we arnt fighting and i have the kids…but im so lonly and i need advice how to win her back someone please help…
Stop being her child and start acting like her husband.
Grow up
As a wife and mother of three children, give her time. It’s hard when constantly sacrifice your self for others. Maybe she just need a break. Don’t pressure her. Good luck!!
THe best thing you can do is to let her find herself. Concentrate on looking after your kids – step up and show her that you can be the man!
Maybe help with the kids more when she is around, tell her “hey babe I got the kids, laundry or dinner”. Let her take a break from MOM while she’s home. That’s probably what she needed a break from, but I don’t think she’s going to stay gone she just needs a little time like she said. Keep in contact with her though just to make sure it’s not more than just a break though, don’t want to be naive you know
i agree with ontopla and sammy jo. you sound more of a child than a man but, i really don’t know her and would much more info.
Thats trouble. She might wind up joining the army or something.
Sounds like you were being irresponsible and waaay to dependent on her. If you push her too much, this could wind up in divorce court. On the other hand, if you just let her go, she could wind up with someone else.
My advice to you is when she comes back, give her some room. Let her do things WITHOUT you and the kids. Help out waay more around the house AND with the kids than you’ve been doing. If she wants a temporary separation, let her do it– without paperwork.
Take it slow. And PROVE that things will be better when she comes back.
Here is a great article I think you will find very helpful. It is called “Winning Your Wife Back”
http://www.smalleyonline.com/articles/m_winningyourwifeback.html
As for you keep letting her know that you are there for her and are willing to do whatever it takes to make this work out. Let her know that you are sorry for all you have done and that you are reading and learning great principals on marriage and how to be a good husband.
Buy a mariage book and find out how to be the man she always wanted. I have listed books I have read and would highly recomend.
There is also a book called “If only he knew…what no women can resist.” I like this author very much maybe you should ge this book. It will really impress your wife too.
Good luck
Natasha
Being a spouse is a very hard job! pay attention to your wife ,next time try being considerate of her, You know the old saying “you don’t miss your water til the well run dry” think of this before you lose her for good.Good-Luck.
Why would she call you her 3rd child ? What kind of woman or man as far as that goes would get up and leave her kids especially with a person that she thinks is a kid . What kind of crap is that “she needs to find herself”? No abuse,lying,or fooling around ? You made it to easy on her . She went to find another man or already has one in the wash one of the two . Don’t be a fool stop the crying over a person that wants nothing to do with you or her kids . Finding herself what a joke
My suggestion is that you tell her that you are willing to change and then drop it. Don’t let her know how much it hurts all the time that just makes her feel in control. Try keeping your distance and let her come back to you if she chooses I know it will be hard but if you continue to to beg or tell her how bad life is with out her she will always know she can come back at anytime and may take advantage of the situation. Make her believe that you can and will move on if she chooses to pursue her “finding herself”. Remember you both said your vows and she is taking the easy way out by leaving. Also don’t make it easy for her to be away from you let her have some responsibility in having the kids, its not easy to do all the things that children need and go out and have fun at the same time. Also you need time to yourself to examine your past behavior and try to find ways you can change, but don’t loose yourself in the process.
Been there and done that buddy and I will tell you that it is possible to win her back. You gotta pull yourself together though. Please don’t be angry with me but she has lost respect for you and you have lost confidence in yourself…even before she left, somewhere along the way you lost confidence and became someone other than the man she fell in love with…. It isn’t too late and you have a lot going for you and I’m not suggesting that you play games with the kids or anything like that. You need to become the strong confident man that she fell in love with…the one that was going to take care of her and make her feel safe. I wouldn’t contact her or suggest counseling again but take this time to get yourself together, take care of your kids and get strong again. Your kids are counting on you to pull this one off and bring their mother home. You can do this!