Question by survivor: Women answer this question for me?
If you told someone they were the love of your life, would that honestly change from one month to the next? You see my wife used to say that all the time, then she left. Seems to me a form of manipulation if that occurs. when normal people say it, usually we mean it. and it doesn’t change. I’m thinking my ex used to just say that to get love back or to manipulate me. Now we’re going through a divorce and after she left, she totally moved on with her life like nothing ever happened. haven’t heard or seen her in 3 months. So what does that tell me if a month before she left she told me “please don’t ever leave me, you’re the love of my life”. Then she left? It was almost like she was saying that to keep me at bay until she could figure out how to leave. why would a woman do this if they looked deep into your eyes and tell you(almost crying) “you’re the love of my life. don’t ever leave me”
Best answer:
Answer by JJMcIntosh
Maybe she did mean it. What happened to make her decide to leave? Did you do something? Did you hurt her feelings? Something had to have happened for her to leave like that. It sounds as if she really did mean it.
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I think she told you that so you wouldn’t leave her because if you did you would then be messing up her plans to leave you. So you already answered your own question.
Sounds like a selfish b**** to me….she was playing you honey.
It sounds like something happened or was going on and it changed how she felt about you.
There are things that a person can do that will kill the love immediately…..maybe you should look back and see if something happened.
She could have meant it and been fighting with her own inhibitions all at the same time. Don’t think that you weren’t ever loved. Just try to move on and find a love that will stay. It’s better that she’s gone rather than have her stay and continue to fight with her demons.
it sounds like she has probs and likes to play head games…just be thankful she left and now you can move on with your life. As for the 3 months of not talking or seeing her, that’s whats supposed to happen…when it’s over it’s over there doesn’t need to be contact unless you have kids…good luck sorry to hear that this happened to you.
Not all women are like your ex-wife. I do believe there are always two sides to every story though; there’s your side, her side and the truth. If she told her side it would be another picture of the relationship; her side telling your faults. From your perspective, it does sound like she used manipulation on you for some reason, before she decided to divorce. But move on with your life, start with a new perspective. Don’t make the next woman in your life pay for what you ex did to you, it would totally not be fair to her. If you do and it doesn’t work out; put the blame where it would lie; on yourself.
Talk is very cheap. Showing someone with your actions that they are the love of your life is more effective, and if someone says it but cannot show it, then it is a lie.
My 2nd wife used to always say that she loved me and that we would always be together, that we would grow old together, which made me happy or sad depending on how we were getting along at the time….and she eventually left too just like yours did. In retrospect it was the nicest, most generous thing she ever did for me, even though it hurt at the time. The reason I say this is that after 10 years of being single I found a real woman that truly loves me and treats me like that every single day. I have never been happier and we are going into our 4th year, so hang in there brother, it can and will get better. Just remember, actions are what speak loudest.
I am sorry. That was terribly mean of her. Don’t think that only women do this. Many people do not think before they speak and use their speech to get what they want through manipulation. Also, many people think they are speaking sincerely and may mean what they said at that time. I try to watch for behaviors to detect how someone feels before listening to words because sadly, often words are not accurate or truthful.
Listen to your gut. It sounds like you already answered your own question. I am sorry for your loss, but don’t take what she has said or didn’t say to heart….and try not to punish the next for what your ex has done.
maybe she did mean it
but something happen to change her mind
people do change there mind
dont feel bad about it (i know its easier said than done)
but u need to relaz and get ur self together
be strong and try to move on
You know I am facing this problem. And I know how much hurt get a women when she feel that her husband love another women and that is not she. When you talk about your ex, it’s normal, but when you feel her so much it’s not normal. I am getting sick mentally when I remember that my husband never love me he loves another woman. It’s really so pain full. Because she really love you. I don’t know about you, but I know me. Sometimes I feel that it’s not my house and he is not my husband. I am just for time pass. nothing else.
Talk with your wife and tell her your ex was past and she is your present and future. She will not happy without you. she wanna leave you that she think you don’t love her. she want to see you happy with your ex, what I also want. Because I know he will love her until his death.
it may seem like it was all of a sudden but there is always a reason why someone leaves. i don’t know if she really loved you or not but it’s sad that she couldn’t tell you what she was feeling to make her want to leave. I’d say you are better off without her. i can tell you really did love her and i hope that you can find a good woman to reciprocate your feelings.
I honestly couldn’t say what caused the sudden change,unless she found a new “love of her life” I can say I’ve never said that to anyone. I wouldn’t put those words out there unless I actually meant them. I’ve never trusted anyone enough to let my guard down, to let myself be swept away by someone, the hurt, when those words proved to mean nothing would be hard to accept, but if you know that no wrong was done on your part and she left for no reason that you are aware of then it’s time to put it behind you and be careful of your next encounter.
She was trying to convince herself, but i think she was having an affair and wanted to stir you in the wrong direction. I am so sorry that this happened to you don’t let this be the new guide line for a new relationship.. I think you will find out after the divorce if you have not already that there is another man in her life.